Get the Sex Right! Please!! ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

No not me at all! I got this stimulation thing down to a science. I can’t even remember ever feeling sex starved. I tell people, it’s really not just penetration you know, it’s an emotional experience. Why do you think the brain releases that sweet cocktail of hormones after an orgasm; the stress reliever serotonin aka the happiness hormone and a touch of the cuddle hormone oxytocin.

You know what, I think I will become an advocate for helping people in the church ย marry earlier, I feel that’s why so many christians are sad. Mind you, in my brain, the same chemicals released during a great worship session is released during an orgasm (Science agrees as well, sorry I couldn’t find an article link to drop here. Research it) . But most of the people going to church are not worshipping so that’s why they walk around so mad all the time. C’mon guys, if you know me well enough you know I am an ardent advocate of frequent quality stimulation. Personally, masturbation is the way to go while you wait for Mr. Right. But honey, don’t let him be the first one to stimulate you. I guarantee that unless he is a very experienced lover, you will leave grossly disappointed in sex – I think it will be like this ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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and because you will be inclined to protect his ego you will do this:

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Brothas! If that’s the kiss you get after the sex, you didn’t do it right. She should be too exhausted to do that ๐Ÿ‘†๐ŸพIf she hasn’t cooked for you yet, brother you’ve been failing really bad.

You know you’re giving her good sex when she purrs and curls up to sleep in something sexy (take that as an invitation for round 2,3…) and she wakes up smiling, you get a kiss good morning AND she cooks!!! Even when she can’t cook anything but mac and cheese and make an egg sandwich, if you haven’t gotten that yet, you haven’t stroked it good yet my brother. Watch for the signs. You’ll get dropped.

And hey, none of us were born experts, so ladies, go easy, tell him what to do to make you feel good, tell him to slow down and if he’s doing something right, let the man know. And pleasse! Do not just lay there on your back! This is 2016! Get with it. Watch a few dancehall videos (to all the uptown girls losing their men to the women from the ghetto; get with it) Hey, I am not saying you gotta learn to go on your head top and the works, all I’m saying is to put a little effort into it. Try yoga or salsa maybe. Just do something.

To the brothas:

  1. Slow down
  2. Take it easy
  3. Ask her what she likes
  4. Stop if it feels too good, breathe and go again
  5. If you come too quick, just pack up your things and go, because tbh that’s exactly what she really wants to tell you in the moment
  6. No matter how good your tongue is, she is not a lesbian and therefore she wants that d**, so learn how to use it
  7. It’s really just a mind thing. Take deep breaths and relax.
  8. Please, learn what foreplay is
  9. Don’t ask her to call you daddy! (dafaq ๐Ÿ‘€) or put her finger in your a’hole. That shit aint cute #punintended
  10. Kiss her and hold her. Unfortunately, vagina and penis is so easy to get these days that if the sex is to be remembered, you gotta be present in the moment for it to be done right. We know when you’re thinking about someone or something else while you’re at it. Trust me!

 

******To be continued…******

 

Woiie! No I am not a saint. Judge away! and feel free to do it openly! Drop your comments down below๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฝ

Disclaimer: To all my family and christian friends on Facebook! Do Not Read!!!! If you do, my answer is “No, I do not want to talk about it and yes I am fine”ย 

Coming SOoN!ย 

Sexual Frustrationย 

Too many men and women walking around frustrated. Go f yourself if you don’t just want to hook up please. We are all tired of seeing your face all bent up ย and complaining like that everyday!!… The moment you get some good sex, the world is suddenly a beautiful place.

 

 

 

Published by Faith

I am human patiently accepting myself. I am unapologetic about being wild, and untamed. I am always open to new things and I only accept good vibe and positive energies. I love people and life and the world is my playground. I love children, animals and elderly people. I write to express and understand my thoughts, feeling and behaviors. It's self therapy and a visualization tool. I am a selfish loner at times a very sensitive INTJ. I am an aspiring psychological disorders and consumer behavior researcher and practitioner, living with Bipolar 1.

6 thoughts on “Get the Sex Right! Please!! ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

  1. I think that self stimulating is also an important part of accepting yourself, being comfortable with with yourself, finding out what you like as a woman and making yourself happy. That way when I guy comes around who actually knows what he’s doing the feel good isn’t new to you and yuh nuh tun fool… I may not speak for all women everywhere but I personally don’t want no man on top of me for forever and a day lol sometimes he need to nut quick especially after I’ve had my fun lol

    Liked by 1 person

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