😭 Undone 😭

Dare I be sad for just a little while…..

A whirlwind from my past just swept me up with this raining Thursday morning…

If This Is Goodbye

If this is goodbye let it be a different means, a different medium,a different time..

It’s been such a long time since there has been hope Β in my thoughts, but I this is goodbye thank you for your sweetness it really touched my heart..

The days spent together instilled a bright life in me, your compassionate ways,the way you cared for me was really worth the time. ever since then
Most mornings you are the first thought that comes to my mind..but if this is goodbye I pray someday you’ll see the T…. that I’ve always wanted you to see and not the broken one that you’ve loved on the surface , I only wished you would’ve gone into the depths only so you would have seen a beauty that most have not seen..

It’s an incredible feeling having you around you know, your loving heart passes this zeal in me to live my life to the fullest.but if this is goodbye I can’t thank you enough for love and for your care only wish you could read my feelings through my eyes every time I look at you..

You mean a lot to me, I’ve stayed up to watch you sleep “yes I do” a few nights, I know you would’ve guessed I would be sleeping, but oh I stayed up and admired you curling onto me.. We’ve made memories and they were some of the best that type of bond where I can come and just vibe with you and we would talk for hours just about anything made me feel vulnerable but also relaxed..but if this is goodbye I hope these memories will linger forever.

Your cracking laughter every now and then when I either said something funny or you just laughed out of disagreement and then that beautiful smile of yours that lights up the place whenever I come to see you.. They are things that I’ll carry with me for a lifetime.. But if this is goodbye thanks for being on my side and showering me with unconditional love, I only hoped I would be the reason you smile so brightly more often..

I saw someone broken like myself, I don’t know what you saw but I saw happiness in your eyes when I do just the things you love, the other night when I said I’m not superman and you made a bitter comment that made a 1000 stories start moving across my mind it ha really disturbed my thoughts.. And I thought to myself if only she would think about most of the stuff that I say, they are of deeper meaning that’s just who I am, what u got from me saying that was that I wouldn’t do or go out of my way for you.. You bet I would! Because I would be everything you need and like gravity I would become unstoppable… But if this is goodbye I’ll still be your hero

You told me you loved me and I never doubted that, I knew this I watched the way how you looked at me and just how cautious and delicate you were at times when it came to me…for that I hold you as high as the stars and I’ll stand by you through it all..through the ups and downs and the constant switch up in moods I’ve been patient and if I had to destroy that friend barrier again I would do it all over again.. I would only change one thing and that is the timing that I took to do so I would’ve done it sooner.. But If this is goodbye I want you to know I would do it over again because it’s not just about me to myself it’s never been about me I care for u like how Christ cared for his children..

I connect with you at heart and there is no boundary or barrier to just what I feel about you, I want you to know you mean a lot to me I know you’re my support for all the times you’ve been here for me I thank you, you’re appreciated, thanks for being a shoulder to lean on, thank you for being a wonderful friend and partner and cheerleader, you were enchanting and inspiring But if this is goodbye forgive me if I failed you I’m sorry I’ll blame this on me, I’m not over you but I love you enough to let you be..because that’s what love is about putting others feelings and needs before one self..happiness means seeing you happy

P.s Β I still love you πŸ’“πŸ’ž I hope someday you’ll see that

#Heartbroken πŸ’” #IfIWereABoy

β€œThe emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…” 
― Nicholas SparksΒ 

 

 

 

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