Just Before Dawn

I’ve been told that the darkest part of the night

Is just before dawn

I’ve been in this dark spot for quite some time

Where are you dawn?

It just keeps getting darker

But I must be honest

It does feel like dawn is coming

I feel it in my spirit

The only place that is still warm

My heart is going cold

My brain is still too lazy and thinks I should just f this

My body is breaking under the stress daily

Yet still, I rise

Anger, discontent and a sense of purpose

That’s where I find my strength

In my God too, but

We’ve been fighting a lot lately

I can’t seem to grasp his idea of enough

No more than I can bear right?

Smfh

Blurry vision, headaches, pain and pressure

Weeks, none stop

Glaucoma.

Late, absenteeism, taking command

Resignation.

Broke…

Back to the family house

Dependence 😷😷

I despise that word.

Ignorant family.

Noise.

Chatter and weariness.

Time to pack my bags

F knowing the end result

I’m leaving.

I wish it was forever but

I know how Jonah’s story ends

I know how Job’s story end

The 3 Hebrew boys

I know the story of Daniel

Lion’s den right?

My will won’t let me break

I wish I was coward enough to give up

But I’m dauntless

Why?

Psalms 23, 37, 91

Matthew 6:33

Deuteronomy 28

1 Peter 5:7

And I could go on…

Let’s just say, the word.

My God.

Daddy.

I don’t always like his lesson plans

Nor instruction execution

But I love the strength I garner after the training

I love the wisdom

I love the blessings

The mountains

The flights

So hey, I’ll live to fight another day.

Because I have a David spirit.

The wit of Delilah.

The faith of Job.

The courage of Abraham.

The patience of Esther.

And man, I pray like Daniel

So I will survive,

I will survive

haha.

I just sang that.

In my head of course.

Whoever sings out alone at their kitchen counter at 12:40am?

πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‡πŸ˜˜πŸ˜œπŸ˜πŸ˜›

 

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Published by Faith

I am human patiently accepting myself. I am unapologetic about being wild, and untamed. I am always open to new things and I only accept good vibe and positive energies. I love people and life and the world is my playground. I love children, animals and elderly people. I write to express and understand my thoughts, feeling and behaviors. It's self therapy and a visualization tool. I am a selfish loner at times a very sensitive INTJ. I am an aspiring psychological disorders and consumer behavior researcher and practitioner, living with Bipolar 1.

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