Me?

It’s often hard to clearly tell someone about myself. In my highs, it rolls off my tongue, I’m a well of positive energy, strength and good vibes. But as you might have realized from my previous posts, I’m consistently inconsistent in many ways.

“If only wanting it was enough…”

I want a lot out of this life and sometimes, I just don’t want to want. I have had moments where I felt undoubtedly sure that all I wanted to do was just disappear, die. Quell my thoughts and my wants. You see, I think I just want, I am yet to get to point where success is more of a need, where it’s as essential for my sustenance as is my next breath…

Mental rollercoasters mid January to about mid July I presume, but I have already begun to feel the shift, the impending high. I already wake up feeling good. Excited for life again. It’s  a great feeling. I know we all face highs and lows and it’s unkind it’s as inexplicable as  your biochemistry, a deviation in my neurology.

These are the kind words I’d like to write and say to myself daily…all 365 days of every year I am blessed to see:

I am smart

I am strong

I will achieve my goals

I will never give up

I am worth it

I am beautiful

I am confident

I am intelligent

I am a problem solver

I am a critical thinker

I am an astute leader

I am competent

I am purposeful

I am mindful

I am aware

I am a productive member of society

I am motivated

 

There are things I want to be better at:

Keeping in touch with friends and family

Answering my phone

Having and thoroughly enjoying a conversation

Being aware

Sharing

Being financially independent

Supporting my family and friends

Being available

Working hard

Being tenacious

Being consistent

Being authentically true to all my sides.

…

I don't want to hide because I'm not living up to my own expectations, I want to confront myself and fix it.