It’s often hard to clearly tell someone about myself. In my highs, it rolls off my tongue, I’m a well of positive energy, strength and good vibes. But as you might have realized from my previous posts, I’m consistently inconsistent in many ways.
“If only wanting it was enough…”
I want a lot out of this life and sometimes, I just don’t want to want. I have had moments where I felt undoubtedly sure that all I wanted to do was just disappear, die. Quell my thoughts and my wants. You see, I think I just want, I am yet to get to point where success is more of a need, where it’s as essential for my sustenance as is my next breath…
Mental rollercoasters mid January to about mid July I presume, but I have already begun to feel the shift, the impending high. I already wake up feeling good. Excited for life again. It’s a great feeling. I know we all face highs and lows and it’s unkind it’s as inexplicable as your biochemistry, a deviation in my neurology.
These are the kind words I’d like to write and say to myself daily…all 365 days of every year I am blessed to see:
I am smart
I am strong
I will achieve my goals
I will never give up
I am worth it
I am beautiful
I am confident
I am intelligent
I am a problem solver
I am a critical thinker
I am an astute leader
I am competent
I am purposeful
I am mindful
I am aware
I am a productive member of society
I am motivated
There are things I want to be better at:
Keeping in touch with friends and family
Answering my phone
Having and thoroughly enjoying a conversation
Being financially independent
Supporting my family and friends
Being authentically true to all my sides.
I don't want to hide because I'm not living up to my own expectations, I want to confront myself and fix it.