I Left Because…

I’m a brat.

He spoiled me rotten

And then bam!

I left because I was angry

I was disappointed with God.

I left because I always got what I wanted

And then, at 18 years old, he changed the rules.

He told me NO

????????

How dare you punish me for going against  the ‘rules’?

……… 😒 😒😑😑😕😕😔😔

Gandhi said, “I’ll never let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.

But often we see that it is our own very shoes that is causing the dirt.”

Umm…It’s high time I quit acting like I can do this on my own

Lol. I mean, I grabbed my life out of his hands and started doing shit my own way.

My grades dipped. I could no longer regulate my stress levels effectively,

I literally went Psycho, ho-ho-hoed, turned to drugs, alcohol and exercise

Lol. Failed a few courses, left university with a 3.0 GPA

All in all, on my own I was mediocre.

I did ok. Just ok

I went back once…

I got 2 scholarships in 2 months

1 million in cash

I travelled overseas and I had a blast.

Oh wait, then I left again. Lol! “Head tik man”

I fell in love with an adulterer and bam!

The money disappeared and again I lost myself.

Missed out on an opportunity to start my graduate studies

Why?

Because I *beats chest* had this figured out.

So take a seat God.

Legit.

Those may not have been my words

But I certainly was acting like it.

Well, some of us “Haad eaas! Wi tek long fi learn”

But you better believe that when we learn we assimilate.

We learn, unlearn and relearn.

I am a primarily an experiential learner.

Especially so with life lessons.

I had to do all of that shit  to understand that it is bad.

So now,

I’m learning how to let go

Unlearning dragging around my hurt

And relearning how to follow my heart.

I’m going back…

 

 

 

Sidenote:

I look so much better when I’m single though?? Focusing on God, my family and friends, myself and my goals 💞