I Dated 12 Versions of the Same Guy (Pt.2)

If Jamaicans mix up likkle more! Mi seh! Lol. So my few faithful readers have been nagging me for this one. It’s been a year and so I will honour the commitment to continue. Well, it sounds like my sex life is pretty interesting. Unuh love the fuckery too much.

By the way, Is it just me who has a “D List”?? Like a list of all the *clears throat* you know, the buddies…*looks everywhere but at anyone*

Well, let’s continue.


#8 Ew!

Yes, ew is what I think when I think about number 8 now. Geesh! He was my rebound guy. He was good in bed. But curiousity may really kill this cat one of these fine days. The fucker encouraged me to try shit sex, *inserts barfing emoji* Ummmmm…..gross. Gross I tell ya. And yes, after so many escapades I honestly think that men who like asss fucking are bisexual. It’s disgusting. Why would you be ok with sticking your dick in someone else’s shit?? And to be honest, the volume of food I consume, especially protein and fibre I am telling you, there is always some shit in there and I take a dump daily. And this man, look pan good clean body gyal like mi and waan come put him whoring dick in a my bottom???? Fimi batty?? Boy, if only I knew how to knock it without trying it. I tell you, it did not last for a solid minute. All the emotions I feel when I am on the throne came to me at full force. I swore I was passing waste on his dick. No, it’s not for me. Noo. I am yet to see him the same way again.

He is a gentleman when you are around him. I felt comfortable enough to fart in my sleep the first night I slept over. Umm…Well now that I think about it. Maybe it was because I wasn’t attracted to him and I knew it would never be more than just a fling so I was all shades of fucked up from the get go a.k.a I was myself. I am always myself but I reveal my crazy in stages. lol.

He had a whole truck load of problems and he would burden the first listening ear with all his shit. I cannot write here what I thought of his wife. The first time he answered her in my presence, my smile was like a stadium bulb. Haha! Do not trust the smile. I repeat, do not trust it. I started plotting my revenge immediately. I could give him head in the car, warn him of my evil intentions and sink my teeth into it while they were arguing and disturbing my peace of mind. lol. I did no such thing. I do not drink my soup while it is hot. I’d be in prison by now.

I taught him a lesson I might share another day. I am a dominant. You don’t get a chance to disrespect me and walk away without a good spanking. ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„\


#7 First PVP

Lol. I will leave you to guess that one. Well, all who knew me back then knew about this one. Man, we were good together. Maybe if I was normal it might have worked because normally girls stay with their man and have babies with them even after multiple infidelities and the worst part, the nigga pushed me off the bed one night after I was kicking his ass off. Haha. I am not used to being on defense so I was thoroughly thrown for about a month. That brother fucked with my head for a good 1.5 years of my life (post breakup). I moved out of my mom’s at 16, we moved in together by 17, I got pregnant within a few months of fucking at least 4 times per day. Funny enough, he didn’t ‘take my virginity’ I took what I wanted. My life was chaotic at the time, masturbation almost didn’t feel like enough anymore and I really ย was just ready to finally feel something on the inside. lol.

He spent everyday with me, my dad had retired for the night, we were sitting outside on a house under construction, this kissing and petting thing was getting annoying. I straddled him, unzipped the bad boy and sat on it. Haha. Now that was fun. Well the thrill of it. It all ended too quickly. Let’s just say he slept over the next day, the one after that and for 3 more years after that. So I lived the whole ‘married’ life. There were many good days but I soon ran out of projects and the attraction was predominantly physical. He couldn’t teach me anything new and I was throughly bored. Well, I have told the story many times about how he was flirty with all the local solid girls and I was blissfully unaware that I too was cheating. Umm….another story. I had my first sugar daddy at 16 years old. When I introduced him to my Father, he said “Imani, a dem man ya yuh fi a talk to” and quit talking to boys. lol. I guess now we understand why I like older men. My daddy was absent financially and they were present. Attraction was negligible. I could buy my essential school supplies, I had lunch money and I even bought a Bible! ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ย The irony. And we never had sex. He doesn’t even know what my tits feel like. Lol. The whole being a Christian thing with strict parents worked ok.

# ย 7 was the best partner yet. He spoiled me rotten and I loved it! I did too. He brought the nurturing, feminine side out. I was cooking, cleaning, ironing, doing laundry and shit *whispers* and I was enjoying it! Haha. And then he was always like, “Babe, chill. Put your feet up, read a novel (he got me some), watch a movie (he gave me many options) and just stay in bed today ok. While he went to work and brought home cheesedogs from Texaco and fruit bowls. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ย I was flat on my face in love. We played FIFA together, mortal combat and football. None of these brothers have measured up since. My siblings still call him bro, and he still stole all my guy friends. Urrrgghh! After him, I couldn’t exactly go back to being a the tom boy I was. The brother wouldn’t even allow me to play football with my niggas anymore. It was good though. I felt butterflies, saw stars and had stomach aches for that boy. He was my it. I even brought him to church and the bastards kicked me out after I told them the truth; yes, we were fucking and the entire community knew that the sweet likkle Church girl start tek dick. Ooohh!! The sex was ย amazing!!! I had no complaints whatsoever. However loyal I was, he was right, I probably would have left him at some point. I said no to some of my best offers while I was with him though and for that I am proud.

Now, I am a hoe, I aint loyal to anything but my goals, my stomach and money!ย 


Now this is already too long, we’ll talk more soon….Mix up eunuh love.

Published by Faith

I am human patiently accepting myself. I am unapologetic about being wild, and untamed. I am always open to new things and I only accept good vibe and positive energies. I love people and life and the world is my playground. I love children, animals and elderly people. I write to express and understand my thoughts, feeling and behaviors. It's self therapy and a visualization tool. I am a selfish loner at times a very sensitive INTJ. I am an aspiring psychological disorders and consumer behavior researcher and practitioner, living with Bipolar 1.

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