Dear God…again

I know you can

I know you will

I know

I know

Sometimes you know,

Sometimes, I just want to be able

On my own

To cope

To not need to ask someone to help me calm down

To not need someone to ask me “Are you sure  you are ok?”

Sometimes I just want to be ok

On my own.

But you know, it’s ok.

It’s ok to need someone,

It’s ok to not be ok,

It’s ok to ask for help,

It’s ok.

You’ll be fine.

No one will think any less of you.

You are still strong,

You are still smart,

You are still independent,

For I know how much it means to you

To not be dependent.

For the very idea abhors you.

It’s true.

I just don’t want to be anything like them.

I acknowledge my weaknesses.

I own them.

Then I sharpen them,

I work on them ,

On me.

I don’t just accept them and live in mediocrity.

That, that is what abhors me.

Those who have seemingly chosen not to fight,

Those who become parasitic, latching onto something healthy,

and draining the very life out of it.

No, I will never be that.

Until and unless my faculties themselves completely fail me,

I will never stop fighting.

Never.

Mental illness is not the end of me.

It’s not.

Though I love solo travel

I have accepted that now, I have to finish my journey with my buddy:

The Right Honourable Dr. Manic-Depressive;

Sir stress a lot,

Sir kill-rage,

Lady hyper sexual and madam  prissy

Baby cuddle and comfort

Her Majesty wild adventuress and wanderlust

Dr. Scholar

Lady empath and social changer.

That ancient philosopher and theorist.

That damn tom-boy who likes spanking ass 😆

That stay in bed and do nothing but eat and pee little girl.

That ghost who needs help taking a bath, brushing her teeth and washing her hair.

That motherfucker who is forever planning how to kill us all.

That shy, anxious nerd who hugs his books, head down and rushes through the hall way as soon as it’s clear

That well read and well spoken attorney at Law who advocates for her rights and the rights of those most vulnerable.

I own you all.

I accept you as me.

You are me.

I am me.

Dear God, thank you for creating such a fucking masterpiece.

You are one hell of an artist.

I appreciate you.

I trust you.

I love you.

I thank you.

 

P.S. It’s ok to need help, it’s ok to not be normal, it’s ok to be you, whatever the fuck that looks like on any given day. It’s ok. Just don’t give up on you, ever. Don’t give up on what makes you, you. Own it. Own you and be the very best motherfucking you that you can be.

Unless you can be a unicorn. Be a unicorn because unicorns are fucking magical 😂

 

#Chiselingon #Faithinit #HammerOn

PPS. I curse a lot when I am manic. lol Blame it on the brain not me. 😝

#Unapologeticallyme

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” 

~ Jeremiah 29:11

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Published by Faith

I am human patiently accepting myself. I am unapologetic about being wild, and untamed. I am always open to new things and I only accept good vibe and positive energies. I love people and life and the world is my playground. I love children, animals and elderly people. I write to express and understand my thoughts, feeling and behaviors. It's self therapy and a visualization tool. I am a selfish loner at times a very sensitive INTJ. I am an aspiring psychological disorders and consumer behavior researcher and practitioner, living with Bipolar 1.

4 thoughts on “Dear God…again

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