I was so scared to talk about you.
I have only ever disclosed your existence once, I promise.
I’m aware that only I see you
That you are me, mine an extension of my mind.
4302,
I only just gave you that name a month ago.
Before, you were just a shadow I feared.
Whenever you appeared I knew it was time.
Time to come out of the dark
To let the light shine through my cracks.
I used to be so afraid of you.
Somehow, I thought you wanted to hurt me maybe
Or perhaps it was just an affirmation of my crazy.
You terrified me.
I grew paranoid when I’d see you.
My heart raced.
My palms grew sweaty
And my mind ran off on so many tangents.
I thought seeing you meant more would come.
I thought it meant I’d see more of you, your kind.
Now, now I’m no longer afraid of you
I actually get happy to see you
I look for you in the dark
I slow down as I approach your spot, 4302.
That’s where you appeared this year.
I realize you appear when I’m alone.
When I start feeling afraid that I’m alone.
That’s when you show up.
Now I realize you’ve been my angel
Albeit dark.
I no longer fear the darkness,
I embrace it.
I allow myself to feel the warmth it envelops me in.
I realize now that the dark was never trying to choke me
It was my fear of the dark that did that.
The dark gave me comfort, peace, solace and companionship.
You did.
4302, Thank you.
For always being there when I needed you 🤗😇
I love you ❤️😘
~ Faith
