Coming Out of a Depressive Episode Feels Like…

Walking into the life of an old friend and seeing how scattered it is. Feeling utterly sorry you have been such a terrible friend and mourning their squandered potential.

Coming home to the kitchen sink filled with dirty dishes, the food on the stove burning, the garbage needs to be taken out, the compost has maggots in it, the Crisper is filled with rotting vegetables and the kids are playing in the flour on the floor naked and wearing your favourite wig.

Opening the door for the first time and stepping out into the blinding sunlight in your eyes and having no idea where your shades are.

Having a shit ton of basic adult and life stuff to catch up on.

Waking up from a terrible accident with amnesia; the last couple months are a total blur, “I did what now?”

Waking up from hibernation 15lbs heavier and craving things you had no idea you even liked

Looking in the mirror and wondering what that bastard did to your body.

Opening a bunch of tabs trying breathlessly to get on top of everything you deferred.

Trying to make this person staring back at you in the mirror look more like you; you know, the real you. Whoever the heck that is.

Published by Faith

I am human patiently accepting myself. I am unapologetic about being wild, and untamed. I am always open to new things and I only accept good vibe and positive energies. I love people and life and the world is my playground. I love children, animals and elderly people. I write to express and understand my thoughts, feeling and behaviors. It's self therapy and a visualization tool. I am a selfish loner at times a very sensitive INTJ. I am an aspiring psychological disorders and consumer behavior researcher and practitioner, living with Bipolar 1.

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