Rapid Cycling is the worst part of this disorder. It’s exhausting; mentally and physically. I still haven’t quite figured out what triggers these episodes and I’m journaling to remain mindful so I can crack the code lol
During rapid cycling I experience numerous mood swings from mania to depression. I get weepy, happy, angry, frustrated, irritable, sad, elated! And the list goes on. I feel completely out of control and to be honest, I don’t want anyone around because I may very well take that out on them consciously or unconsciously.
Yesterday was one of those days and by 12 in the afternoon I was exhausted. I don’t mean tired, I mean just done, running on E.
I laid in the sofa and cried for 3 hours yup. 3 hrs. I hate it. Because I have things to do and this version of me is not my favourite at all.
But still I try. I try to be patient with myself. I try to be empathetic (with myself), I try to be understanding and I accept that hey, it’s ok to slow down sometimes; actually it’s ok to go slow ALL THE TIME.
What I hated about being around family and others in general is they constantly critique my energy levels and the speed at which I get things done. I fucking hate it. Listen, slow growth is better than no growth and I am certainly not ashamed of my speed. Dimple (my mom) told me for years over and over about how slow I was and I’m so glad we get to choose our environments after a certain age. Who gives a flying fuxk how long I take to do the dishes or clean the house or cook the food now???? 🤣🤣 Not a fucking soul and I like it! No, I fucking love it.
I’m happy and grateful I get to take life at my own pace. I’m happy and grateful I get to live the way I choose to every single day. I am happy and grateful for success in all my businesses and art. I’m happy and grateful for all the doors that are opening and have opened in my life.
I’m super happy about all the closed ones. Bye 👋🏾 Felecias 😂
My kingdom, my rules. 😄
Check out the YouTube video.
I talk about giving yourself all the things you expect from others – especially the gift of consistency, discipline and all the luxuries your pretty little heart desires.
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Slow progress is better than no progress