I Wanna Go Home

Every year since immigrating whenever someone asked if I missed home I’d tell them “Not yet, I lived there for 21 years. I’ve seen it all or at least most of it.” When they asked if I missed my family, I’d say “not really, we keep in touch and that’s enough for me.”

Well, it’s no longer enough. I miss them. I miss them terribly. I recently got pictures of my baby brother in his school attire and it just broke me. He’s so tall now. He looks so grown and I feel as though I’m missing everything. I feel stuck, trapped even…

I cried all day today. The only time I wasn’t crying was when I was sleeping. It was never supposed to go like this. Well not if I had my way. I have been trying so hard to “stay strong and trust God and my journey” so so hard. This past week I have just been crying, bawling really. How much longer am I meant to be strong? I think I deserve some softness in this lifetime. It just wasn’t supposed to go like this.

Published by Faith

I am human patiently accepting myself. I am unapologetic about being wild, and untamed. I am always open to new things and I only accept good vibe and positive energies. I love people and life and the world is my playground. I love children, animals and elderly people. I write to express and understand my thoughts, feeling and behaviors. It's self therapy and a visualization tool. I am a selfish loner at times a very sensitive INTJ. I am an aspiring psychological disorders and consumer behavior researcher and practitioner, living with Bipolar 1.

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