It’s Been About A Month & A Half

It usually does this…hit me all at once…on a random day when something seemingly random happens. It triggers the feels and then suddenly I feel. I haven’t felt in months and today it feels all new and I don’t hate being bipolar or let me correct myself; having bipolar disorder. It’s been about a monthContinue reading “It’s Been About A Month & A Half”

Disconnected?

Tuning into vlogs, blogs, documentaries, speeches, forums, and many other forms of media regarding depression and anxiety some common themes are dissatisfaction with their jobs, spouses, and life in general. There are those who feel isolated and lonely; no friends, or significant other, poor family relationships and a general lack of community, direction and purpose.Continue reading “Disconnected?”

I Wonder Why

I often watch interviews of people with disabilities who describe their challenges and how it has negatively affected their lives then at the end when asked if they could have it any other way would they and they say no I wouldn’t 😅 I often get enraged which results in uncontrollable maniacal laughter because wtf?Continue reading “I Wonder Why”

To Die A Natural Death

That’s my current goal. To live long enough to die a natural death. It’s funny how growing up no one mentioned that one of the hardest parts of living is choosing to stay alive everyday. Choosing to stay here and breathe another breath, fight another fight. It‘s sad that suicidality is such a taboo subjectContinue reading “To Die A Natural Death”

Human Hibernation

I used to think that depression meant I didn’t get anything done, anything worthwhile that is. But that’s not true, for one, I stay alive (biggest accomplishment 😌) and according to my track record – aka my journal I stay the course of whatever it is I am working on I just slow down considerably,Continue reading “Human Hibernation”

The Stability of a Pendulum

Oh how quickly one oscillates from isn’t it beautiful to this….. *Deep breath* Don’t read this if your day is cheery, as I do not wish to cast a gloom over it. I’m writing to stop my hands from hurting me. I wish it wasnt like this. But alas, if wishes were horses beggars wouldContinue reading “The Stability of a Pendulum”

You Know You Best

No matter how many years they have on you; no one knows what’s best for you the way you do. Have the courage to live the vision you have for your life and go after your dreams fiercely and unapologetically. When they ask you, “Who do you think you are?” Remind them of your mfContinue reading “You Know You Best”

What Are You Angry About?

I am not sure why I am, or what I am angry about? I’ve been getting these moments of rage almost everyday for the last 3 weeks I think. As usual, I write to figure out what’s going on inside that I am not vocalizing out loud. It’s nice writing, I don’t have to dealContinue reading “What Are You Angry About?”

The Hole

I hate it hereHere is the holeHuck’s holeDo you know Huck?Olivia Pope?The white hat?….I know, distractingAnyho, I’m not doing well but I’m still trying.I like to focus on the latter #blessed #grateful

Rapid Cycling – What it’s really like

Rapid Cycling is the worst part of this disorder. It’s exhausting; mentally and physically. I still haven’t quite figured out what triggers these episodes and I’m journaling to remain mindful so I can crack the code lol During rapid cycling I experience numerous mood swings from mania to depression. I get weepy, happy, angry, frustrated,Continue reading “Rapid Cycling – What it’s really like”

What I Want For My Birthday

So my birthday is coming up on the winter solstice and as is typical for me; I am introspecting a lot these days. I am very pensive about my big life goals: 1. Earn my PhD by age 30 2. Own multiple successful businesses 3. Retire on my ranch by age 40 4. Be anContinue reading “What I Want For My Birthday”

Mental Health Check in

I don’t even know how I’m doing it at this point. But best believe I am. Having a routine is very important for staying productive and excelling living with a mental illness. Today, I am happy and grateful to live in this country 🇨🇦 as it has opened the doors to opportunities for me toContinue reading “Mental Health Check in”

Model

I’m mid twenties and a model. My personal brand epitomizes the strength of a young woman with an “invisible” disability who shares her journey to self actualization while not just coping but thriving. I believe my transparency has inspired and continues to inspire others to commit to their goals regardless of their personal afflictions orContinue reading “Model”

Model

I’m mid twenties and a model. My personal brand epitomizes the strength of a young woman with an “invisible” disability who shares her journey to self actualization while not just coping but thriving. I believe my transparency has inspired and continues to inspire others to commit to their goals regardless of their personal afflictions orContinue reading “Model”

What He Should Have Said

You belong here You earned this just as much as anyone else here You are a excellent as the rest You bring value to this team You are competent in areas we are lacking and we are happy and grateful you decided to join us Instead I was told; You’re too egotistic. It’s likely yourContinue reading “What He Should Have Said”