Dear My Inner Child

I am letting go the resentment I harbour towards my parents for having 5 children in poverty and never working hard enough nor consistently enough to take care of all our basic needs and using us as beggars to the rest of the family to support us all. I’m letting go of feeling as thoughContinue reading “Dear My Inner Child”

I Want to be with Someone Who

Makes me feel secure enough to be soft Makes me feel safe enough to put my armour down, for I already destroyed my walls I want to be with someone who reveres my divine femininity and firm masculinity I want to be with someone who sees God in me I want to be with someoneContinue reading “I Want to be with Someone Who”

Dear Nature

I love how wild and untamed you are How pristinely you take up space everywhere I love how bipolar you are; hot one minute, cold the next and raging fuxking mad another I love how you just don’t give shit about existing the way you do. I love how you carve paths for waterways whereContinue reading “Dear Nature”

Home is Where the He-Art Is

They say; home is where the heart is My he-Art is always with me Within me Sometimes buried deep Sometimes right there on the surface of my chest Slightly left, towards the centre Right there; that’s my heart This is my he-art Do you feel it? Maybe, you can even see it. Strapped in rightContinue reading “Home is Where the He-Art Is”

This is My God

I rose with daylight An especially gentle and peaceful awakening There were no bizarre sounds Nothing loud and irreverent The morning drizzle pettered on Every so slowly, it was certainly in no rush Isn’t that poignant Somehow a remarkable lesson from nature I think it is. I’ve never seen nature rush, never in a hurryContinue reading “This is My God”

I Still Love My Husband

As I do all my exes And as I do all the amazing people in my life. I still love my husband as a human I got to close to and want the absolute best for, I still love my husband as a person I empathize with and can show compassion towards, I still loveContinue reading “I Still Love My Husband”

Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?

I often share about how much I love myself, truthfully I’m not lacking in the self love nor loathing department lol. Lady M and Mr. D has those locked. Together we’ve found the perfect balance of “we’re good over here”. What I often contend with emotionally though is feeling or being too much for others.Continue reading “Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?”

Have You Ever Cried…

Have you cried so hard you couldn’t breathe? Have you every cried so hard it feels like you’re about to have muscle spasms in your chest? Have you every cried so much you feel broken, dried up and small? Have you ever cried “quietly”? hot liquid blurring your vision, burning your cheeks, snotty snot streamingContinue reading “Have You Ever Cried…”

It’s Been About A Month & A Half

It usually does this…hit me all at once…on a random day when something seemingly random happens. It triggers the feels and then suddenly I feel. I haven’t felt in months and today it feels all new and I don’t hate being bipolar or let me correct myself; having bipolar disorder. It’s been about a monthContinue reading “It’s Been About A Month & A Half”

Disconnected?

Tuning into vlogs, blogs, documentaries, speeches, forums, and many other forms of media regarding depression and anxiety some common themes are dissatisfaction with their jobs, spouses, and life in general. There are those who feel isolated and lonely; no friends, or significant other, poor family relationships and a general lack of community, direction and purpose.Continue reading “Disconnected?”

I Wonder Why

I often watch interviews of people with disabilities who describe their challenges and how it has negatively affected their lives then at the end when asked if they could have it any other way would they and they say no I wouldn’t 😅 I often get enraged which results in uncontrollable maniacal laughter because wtf?Continue reading “I Wonder Why”

To Die A Natural Death

That’s my current goal. To live long enough to die a natural death. It’s funny how growing up no one mentioned that one of the hardest parts of living is choosing to stay alive everyday. Choosing to stay here and breathe another breath, fight another fight. It‘s sad that suicidality is such a taboo subjectContinue reading “To Die A Natural Death”

Human Hibernation

I used to think that depression meant I didn’t get anything done, anything worthwhile that is. But that’s not true, for one, I stay alive (biggest accomplishment 😌) and according to my track record – aka my journal I stay the course of whatever it is I am working on I just slow down considerably,Continue reading “Human Hibernation”

The Stability of a Pendulum

Oh how quickly one oscillates from isn’t it beautiful to this….. *Deep breath* Don’t read this if your day is cheery, as I do not wish to cast a gloom over it. I’m writing to stop my hands from hurting me. I wish it wasnt like this. But alas, if wishes were horses beggars wouldContinue reading “The Stability of a Pendulum”

You Know You Best

No matter how many years they have on you; no one knows what’s best for you the way you do. Have the courage to live the vision you have for your life and go after your dreams fiercely and unapologetically. When they ask you, “Who do you think you are?” Remind them of your mfContinue reading “You Know You Best”

What Are You Angry About?

I am not sure why I am, or what I am angry about? I’ve been getting these moments of rage almost everyday for the last 3 weeks I think. As usual, I write to figure out what’s going on inside that I am not vocalizing out loud. It’s nice writing, I don’t have to dealContinue reading “What Are You Angry About?”

The Hole

I hate it hereHere is the holeHuck’s holeDo you know Huck?Olivia Pope?The white hat?….I know, distractingAnyho, I’m not doing well but I’m still trying.I like to focus on the latter #blessed #grateful