Travel Goals

Next year my travel goals includegoing to indigenous majority areas to immerse myself into their culture, and belief systems. As someone living with a mental illness that comes with positive symptoms (things not usually experienced by others; hallucinations, a undeniably strong connection to things that don’t talk – to others; etc) I have been encouragedContinue reading “Travel Goals”

Feelings Suck!

I like apathetic me better. Well, right now I do. I don’t know that that statement holds true all the time. Urrghhh, I’m all worked up and upset and just icky with all these feelings clutching onto my little heart. I hope they don’t take up residency. I don’t think I have anymore room forContinue reading “Feelings Suck!”

How I explain bipolarity to a neuro-typical

This was inspired by a post I just read from another blogger with bipolar disorder. When someone who doesn’t experience mental illness or bipolar disorder specifically asks me what is it like; this is what I say; Mania I tell them that for 6 months I’m highly productive, driven, outgoing and on my game. IContinue reading “How I explain bipolarity to a neuro-typical”

I Don’t Hide Anymore

I hid for the last time last week I cried for the last time in the shower Well, lemme not be hasty haha We all know life has a way of circling back on us I meant to say; I won’t hide from my loved ones anymore I’ll cry and let them sit with me.Continue reading “I Don’t Hide Anymore”

You Deserve It

You know; that someone who makes a fuss over ya That person who thinks everyday with you is a special day That person who thinks you’re the sunshine on a cold winter day That person who thinks you’re the breeze on a hot day in the tropics That person who feels like the sun; likeContinue reading “You Deserve It”

Reclaiming My Leisure

Since August of this year I have gone back into business for myself full time and it has required being constantly on the go, always taking calls and replying to messages, keeping up with content on the social media pages and just being available all the time to my clients. I don’t like it. There.Continue reading “Reclaiming My Leisure”

B.B.A – Body Before Antipsychotics

Can we agree to stop telling people they have gained weight? Do we really think others don’t look in the mirror and know that they have been getting fatter? Do we think that they believe their clothes are shrinking and not that they are expanding? Sighs, listen; I’m so so grateful to this body forContinue reading “B.B.A – Body Before Antipsychotics”

It’s My Aunties For Me

It’s my aunties for meI revere youAlways on my pedestalThere when I needed you mostYou scattered your roses right here on earthYou bent over backwards to make sure we ateNever the dependentI admired my aunties especially you two of late.I know today is your day butI hope you guys meetUp there in gloryAnd share allContinue reading “It’s My Aunties For Me”

Dear My Inner Child

I am letting go the resentment I harbour towards my parents for having 5 children in poverty and never working hard enough nor consistently enough to take care of all our basic needs and using us as beggars to the rest of the family to support us all. I’m letting go of feeling as thoughContinue reading “Dear My Inner Child”

I Want to be with Someone Who

Makes me feel secure enough to be soft Makes me feel safe enough to put my armour down, for I already destroyed my walls I want to be with someone who reveres my divine femininity and firm masculinity I want to be with someone who sees God in me I want to be with someoneContinue reading “I Want to be with Someone Who”

Dear Nature

I love how wild and untamed you are How pristinely you take up space everywhere I love how bipolar you are; hot one minute, cold the next and raging fuxking mad another I love how you just don’t give shit about existing the way you do. I love how you carve paths for waterways whereContinue reading “Dear Nature”

Home is Where the He-Art Is

They say; home is where the heart is My he-Art is always with me Within me Sometimes buried deep Sometimes right there on the surface of my chest Slightly left, towards the centre Right there; that’s my heart This is my he-art Do you feel it? Maybe, you can even see it. Strapped in rightContinue reading “Home is Where the He-Art Is”

This is My God

I rose with daylight An especially gentle and peaceful awakening There were no bizarre sounds Nothing loud and irreverent The morning drizzle pettered on Every so slowly, it was certainly in no rush Isn’t that poignant Somehow a remarkable lesson from nature I think it is. I’ve never seen nature rush, never in a hurryContinue reading “This is My God”

I Still Love My Husband

As I do all my exes And as I do all the amazing people in my life. I still love my husband as a human I got to close to and want the absolute best for, I still love my husband as a person I empathize with and can show compassion towards, I still loveContinue reading “I Still Love My Husband”

Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?

I often share about how much I love myself, truthfully I’m not lacking in the self love nor loathing department lol. Lady M and Mr. D has those locked. Together we’ve found the perfect balance of “we’re good over here”. What I often contend with emotionally though is feeling or being too much for others.Continue reading “Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?”

Have You Ever Cried…

Have you cried so hard you couldn’t breathe? Have you every cried so hard it feels like you’re about to have muscle spasms in your chest? Have you every cried so much you feel broken, dried up and small? Have you ever cried “quietly”? hot liquid blurring your vision, burning your cheeks, snotty snot streamingContinue reading “Have You Ever Cried…”

It’s Been About A Month & A Half

It usually does this…hit me all at once…on a random day when something seemingly random happens. It triggers the feels and then suddenly I feel. I haven’t felt in months and today it feels all new and I don’t hate being bipolar or let me correct myself; having bipolar disorder. It’s been about a monthContinue reading “It’s Been About A Month & A Half”

Disconnected?

Tuning into vlogs, blogs, documentaries, speeches, forums, and many other forms of media regarding depression and anxiety some common themes are dissatisfaction with their jobs, spouses, and life in general. There are those who feel isolated and lonely; no friends, or significant other, poor family relationships and a general lack of community, direction and purpose.Continue reading “Disconnected?”