Author Archives: Faith

Walking into the life of an old friend and seeing how scattered it is. Feeling utterly sorry you have been such a terrible friend and mourning their squandered potential. Coming home to the kitchen sink filled with dirty dishes, the food on the stove burning, the garbage needs to be taken out, the compost hasContinue reading “Coming Out of a Depressive Episode Feels Like…”

Can you learn to love me whole, half? Knowing that I might not let you see me in the dark? Can you learn to love my light, my blossom, my rose buds and not my thorns? Can you learn to love me when I’m not there, when I’m with my other half? Can you learnContinue reading “Can you learn to love me half?”

He prefers to have me all to himself Holed up Locked away Not even my family is ok. I wonder how they survive? The people who never get out? How do I live with a bastard like this all the time? You literally rob the air of it’s oxygen The deny me breath You denyContinue reading “Jealous lover”

I wonder what the agnostic does when they feel lost, in pain, alone, sad, scared…? As of today, I don’t know what I really believe. I was raised a Christian so I pray to God when I am distressed. I believe in God, a higher power, the universe… I am in distress. At night, I’mContinue reading “Growing Pains”

Sometimes I’d like to talk…I really would, but it’s then I become mute. I spilled wine on my laptop I wasted time and money on fruitless human interactions My period shows up My urgent business is stalled They’re fighting I haven’t cooked in two weeks I haven’t gone grocery shopping especially for fruits I’m writingContinue reading “I’d like to talk”

Cloud 10 Realm of realms Divinity Pulsing, throbbing, contracting Magic Waterworks And fireworks Every neurone firing simultaneously Clarity like never before Synchrony Third eye wide open It’s divine communion Chakras fluid Ebbing and flowing Life reimagined God! Thank you.

I’ve been feeling things a lot lately when I am alone. I met a lovely soul recently who said “that’s why I stay busy, because people who spend time too much idle time alone think too much”. I think it’s true. Which is why even though I like being alone I prefer to be beContinue reading “A Revolution Perhaps?”

I often stray away from sharing my religious views on this platform because truthfully I am still figuring them out. I now describe myself as being a spiritual person but not exactly religious. I say this because I have had a parting with Christianity in the way I was brought up with it. I wasContinue reading “Pursued by God”

There was this episode in Grey’s Anatomy where there was a ship crash I believe and the doctors had to be on scene to help who they could. Meredith was helping a man who accidentally pushed her into the ocean. She didn’t try to swim, she just sunk and she was at peace for aContinue reading “I Almost Drowned!”

I am so happy and grateful for God, for the universe and for my higher self. I am happy and grateful that I am able to introspect, reach out when I need help and to actively work on my health. I am healthy, I am happy and I am immensely blessed and highly favoured. TheContinue reading “Gratitude Journal Entry 18.10.2019”

Ladies let’s talk about BV – Bacterial Vaginosis Way too many women are not in touch with their vaginal and sexual health. Because oral sex us still so taboo in many cultures namely mine (Jamaican/Caribbean/African American). Women are not in touch with their body odour and their vaginal discharge. 1. Download Flo – it’s aContinue reading “Smelly 😾 – Let’s talk about the Vagina”

I just don’t think people understand how hard I have to fight daily for my sanity, my peace. It took a lot of years of training myself to not be reactive and to learn how to respond to situations that could destabilize me. Like so many of us I had a difficult upbringing, I don’tContinue reading “Guard Your Heart”

Honestly, just cut a girl some slack. Every minute of every single waking hour you are constantly badgering me. Yes yes, I understand your concerns and they are valid but please I just want to be able to take a dump without you barraging me with 101 questions and what ifs. I just want toContinue reading “I Can’t Sh*t in Peace”

They say the journey of a thousand miles begin with the first step. I don’t know about anyone else but the first step is always the easiest for me. A colleague; Shane Patterson an amazing visual artist once asked, what is your impetus? In short, I told him it was the fact that I wasContinue reading “Long Journey”

Abba’s Heart is for You https://thestilledsoul.wordpress.com/2019/09/20/abbas-heart-is-for-you/ — Read on thestilledsoul.wordpress.com/2019/09/20/abbas-heart-is-for-you/ This is such a timely message that resonates deeply with me as one who has departed from the church because of how my illness was perceived. I was told I was oppressed and or possessed by demons and that if I don’t get right withContinue reading “Mental Health & the Church”

“Sugar Daddy that?” “What happened to him? Accident? Disease” “Come like him sit pon a rass piece a wealth deh man” “Nuhbada tell mi seh mi too fass, but wah happen to yuh husband?” This is an offence; that’s why you are single. 😁 The gall, audacity and blatant lack of etiquette and ignorance isContinue reading “Yes, He’s My Sugar Daddy”

And I don’t mean mine; not this time at least. I survived August. I stayed out of prison 😄. I say this while laughing but God knows it was no joke. I had the most cruel thing I can imagine being done to me by a friend, a confidant done to me. I trusted thisContinue reading “Near Death August”

The hands that holds the masks are tired. I have rotated between left and right I have shifted pressure between fingers I have tried pinning it on Man, I have done it all But the hands are just tired. I just cannot hold up this facade anymore I have resolved to show me more ThoughContinue reading “The Hands that Holds the Mask”