Dweet Fraid

I am tired
Not just in the physical sense
But in all realms
I’m tired of the hustle
I’m tired of the instability
the unpredictability
the financial edge
It’s tiring
The unconscious worry
is crippling
Of course,
I am a Christian
But a flawed human nonetheless
I tell myself that I don’t worry
It really doesn’t show
Companions yearn for my faith
I have faith
But faith without work is dead right?
So now, I’m stepping out in Faith
I’m taking action
I’m pleading my case
Strategic and practical visionary
A force to be reckoned with
An unquenching fire
I refuse to wait any longer
What exactly shall I wait on
The heavens to open up and send manna?
I want trout, salmon and steak
I want to have to give!
I’m tired of chicken and it’s parts
No, I’m n ot greedy
Perhaps just in-content
Don’t get it wrong
I have utmost gratitude for my struggle
But I am really just tired.
Tired of the wait
the small minds
the non believers
the doubtful Thomas
The ‘creep before you walk’ talks
Why do you think we invented the electric stove or the microwave?
To wait??
I beg to differ.

 

1. You can’t be broke or cheap –  Nothing in this life is free and a woman is priceless. Spend lavishly. Give because you can and not because you are expecting sex in return.
2. Taking care of her must be at the top of your agenda.
3. Be confident and possessive  – It’s alluring. But remember not to be overbearing.
4. Work on your tease – The anticipation is exciting.
5. Work out. Please. – Fluffy is not sexy. No excuses or apologies.
6. Be spontaneous – a little crazy is good. Normal is bland.
7. Share – talking to her is healthy. Help her to understand your ‘fifty shades’ of #@^&*

     The awesome sex will follow naturally!😃 Trust me! 

 

 

 

It’s probably true
Even though they love you they still have desires elsewhere.
It doesn’t change their love for you
But I know it must hurt you
How can we?
Are we all just heartless,
Or do we just have little restraint
Worst partner ever.
Love you yes
But cheat nonetheless
Brazen, bold, in your face
Maybe just a little remorse
Of course, we enjoy it
The moments we’d probably not take back
Human love can be so fragile
So erratic,
Impatience is our biggest flaw
We want it and we want it now!
Wait on what?
Divine intervention is requisite
Righteousness over man-made morality
Alone we are savage
Reduced to mere primal instincts
Food, Sex, Clothing, Shelter
By whatever means
It’s a little unsettling
Imagine the man who does not know Christ.
Stimulation! Whoever, wherever, whenever, however
Adrenaline.
The killer hormone
It feels awesome!
Absolute euphoria
Manic.
What about the aftermath?
The calm after the storm
There’s beauty in the chaos
After is what is dreadful
The damage well done
No going back
Well, certainly not in a flash.
Just then, we realize
That we need him.
Ride out your storm
Sure. Enjoy the ride
The cycling
Consequences are inevitable
So try not to dwell on them
Live in the moment they say
Haha
A predictable end.
Colourful life they call it
But a tragic death
No one wants to talk about that part
The what if?
In this moment you breathe your last breath
Sure it was fun, the memories will live on
But what next?
If next is real
What next?
Since we agree in the existence of Good and Evil
Where do you fit?
Sure you were ‘good’
But you constantly dabbled
You lived for a taste of the dark side
Just like a strong drink or the warmth of the sun
You revelled in the highs
You dreamt of more while being ‘good’
Stop.
Don’t complicated this life and life after death business
It’s probably real
So just choose.
Make a choice and stick with it.
Get out of the limbo.
No one wants a half heart
You’re either with me or against me
There’s no middle ground
That’s all in your head.
There’s joy and peace in faithfulness.
Chose Christ.

Why do humans crave this thing?
This I believe is our socialized flaw.
It is certainly not innate.
Which is why a child shall lead them
Curiosity should have no restrictions
Life is unrestricted
Humans are power hungry
We just want to manipulate
Ha!
I think we have forgotten who is really in control
The mere fact that we cannot control life,
Is an answer, in and of itself
Rational, order, steps, hierarchy,
classification, normal, odd,
Is it just definitions?
Or perhaps it is just some definitions.
Why do we crave this thing?
This need to feel in control
This desire for chronology
What about Miracles?
What about omnipotence?
What about Christ?
Have we forgotten that our mortal minds
will just never comprehend,
predict nor manipulate HIS existence,
HIS being.
Since we are prone to errors and flaws
Why can’t we just feel comfortable relinquishing control?
Just let it go.
You will never be happy if you cannot enjoy the ‘chaos’
The unpredictability,
Destiny, fate,
That kinda thing.
I realized man was stupid when the pervasive belief is,
that emotions are our weaknesses
Ha!
I believe it is our strength
Love!
We have said it for ages, yet we really do not realize
Love does conquer
Kindness, anger…
I say be as ‘irrational’ as you want to
Or can sanely be
Is there really a line between sanity and insanity?
Between right and wrong?
Humans!
We purposely limit ourselves
Because of our perpetual fear of the limitless
God defies any definition that we create for him
And since we are made in his ‘image’
Should not that also imply that we too are boundless.
Umm…
This realm is epic!
Adrenaline, imagination, nor outer space has nothing on it
I think I can do any and everything known to humans
We all can
…All things through who?
Christ.
Let’s stop trying to rewrite the scripture.
These manuals and know hows are irrelevant.
Just check the bible.

 

I decided to make my relationship with Christ the main focus going forward since December 2014.. It has been a wonderful journey. I have never been happier and feel more whole. Literally, all that you seek in this world that is good and perfect can be found in Christ. Check out my testimony below.

 

P.S. I am working on the length of my sharing. It should get better! 😁

Inequality some call it

I think it’s just plain unfair
Why are we not allowed to choose freely?
Why can’t women have male friends and vice versa?
Why can’t we wear what we want?
Do what we want?
When we want?
😄😄😄
Rubbish
Let’s ditch this word; unfair
YOU dictate your life
Do what YOU want
Be the change , YOU wish to see
Dictate to this life
Refuse to be dictated to.
Stop blaming the world for their behaviour
We learn from observation
We adapt to conform and survive
Give the world something to adapt to
Of course you can change the world
Yes, you can!
We can all be teachers
One person really can change the world
No, it is not impossible
Gandhi did it
Luther did it
Rosa did it
Hitler did it
Now these are the popular folks
But in our every day lives we see these changers
They are the ones we admire
Let’s give it a shot
Don’t get angry
Just be the change you want to see
It is not unfair.
Society just doesn’t know better.

Since I started this blog in December of last year I have mostly shared personal poetic pieces. However, I am quite talkative and I am now trying to express myself through other media in an effort to improve my communication skills, as well as explore my creativity.

It so happens that I decided to choose a course from CARIMAC  (COMM 3248) as a Psychology major from the Social Sciences as my colleagues have always believed I had media potential and they are yet to understand my deep interest in the brain, mind and behaviour dynamic. Just for the record, psychology is absolutely fascinating. Learning how easy it is to manipulate human reactions directly and indirectly is mind blowing. Observing and seeking to understand and predict behaviour is also a very essential part of what I love about my field of choice.

So here goes, my goals for 2016:

1. To master the art of Marketing
2. To complete my first degree by May 2016.
3. To start graduate studies by September 2016.
4. To manage my company successfully through it’s start-up phase.
5. To establish my home and the headquarters/central hub of my company by the end of summer 2016.
6. To share my testimonies of the love of my God throughout all that I do with the hope of impacting lives.
7. To master all my current interests by the end of 2016.

 

My favourite scriptures:

Matt. 6:33

Deu. 28: 1-14

‘Imani means Faith’

‘2040 is representative of the time period I have given myself to achieve all my current goals.’ 

 

 

Me?
How unfair.
Why shouldn’t I be confident?
Yes, I am beautiful
A princess
Ah…
You don’t feel beautiful do you?
Someone has to tell you??
😧😦😕
That is rather very sad
So, does that mean you aren’t happy??
I really don’t understand.
You see, I have always been sure of my beauty
Inside and out
A woman of substance
😀😄😇
I’ve never needed to be told.
I don’t know how/why, I just know
Tell me something,
Don’t you admire your reflection in the mirror?
You don’t???
I’m utterly flabbergasted
I just don’t get it.
How can you not?
You are gorgeous too you know?
Yeah, you.
You are beautiful.
You have bright eyes
You should smile more
They light up when you do.
Your eyes I mean.
Yes.
You are beautiful
We all are.
You see, we are uniquely phenomenal.

 

 

It’s a constant struggle
Weary of people so easy
Being alone is energizing
Solitude is sheer joy

It’s not that people are completely repulsive
Too much just drains us
Three interactions (per week?) is enough
It’s not even a want

We NEED to be alone more often
than we need to be with others.

 

Move mountain move!
Actually, why should I want my mountain to be moved
There is beauty in the climb
I want to climb to the top
Fall sometimes and learn from the fall
Reach the plateaus and face the challenge of rising again
Climb the steep incline, and rejoice when I get to the top
Linger on top and appreciate the serenity of the view

I don’t mind the climb at all.
That’s where the memories are
That’s where the testimonies come from
That’s where you’ll see the unseen
Hear the unheard
Feel the unfelt
Once you are climbing with the right person
It can be awesome

Think about some of your previous storms or mountains
Some very fond memories right?
I know.
I’m willing to go through it with HIM
He’s great with storms remember,
Peace be still.

The point is
Once you climb
You’ll learn the route
So even if you have to return to the valley
You can easily climb to the top again

 

They are big
But what is too big?
I know they are right about some things
Creep before you walk
I agree.
Learn all aspects of the job.
Sure, absolutely.

My point however is

They are not Too Big
I am a child of the King
How dare I distrust my father
He is yet to fail
SIghs
Why am I the only one who gets this excited without worrying
Should I listen to them?

Honestly, I rather to listen to Christ
He never made a mistake
He never left me nor forsook me
He has all the answers
I did say I wouldn’t worry and that I’d leave it all to him..

Two days before the new year
I am absolutely blessed
I crave more
Of him
Matt 6:33
It’s true
I am a living testimony

He cannot lie,
Deu 28: 1-14
I am claiming my blessings

 

Living or just alive
Do you just breathe?
Or do you feel the air as you inspire

Are you just living?
Doing what you must?
Going with the flow?

Or are you alive?!
Do what YOU want
Change the flow or status quo?

Zombies
What’s the point?
Do do do! then what?

Is it worth it to just be living?
You know your time is limited right?
Human. Does that ring a bell?

Just a suggestion
Just stop. Take a breath.
What if this was your last day in the land of the living?

 

Why are you so ferocious?
Why must you yearn to avenge?
Why do you feel so entitled?

A warrior spirit
Temporal and Spiritual
Wrestle with angels

Humans?
I fear none
Christ is my only fear

Because there are battles to be won
Because HE gives me the authority and strength to
Because I am a child of the King!

 

They’ve made it a dirty word
Enigma is better
Not easily understood
Rarely understands humans

Odd
It’s a lovely place
Self defined
No Subscriptions to normality

Outliers
Standard deviations from the mean
I know myself
Well, most of me

No searching
I found it within a long time ago
Environment perhaps
Genetics? I don’t think so

Special
A disability by societal norms
Lying is an ability you know?
I didn’t

Divergent
Four
Rules are redundant
Contralateral motor pathways I believe

Let us be
Primitive
It’s solitude
God’s grand design cannot be flawed

I am weird
I am Odd
I am an outlier
Searching for what?

No I am not lonely
I am not sad
I do not yearn for company
Meaningful interactions only

Special they say
Divergent
Christ-like
A phenomenal masterpiece.

 

The idea is so redundant
A like, share or invitation request
And we’re suddenly now Connections?

Oh no.
Relationships will forever be traditional
Genuine interactions are what builds connections

Your friends, followers, connections
Do you really know them?
Endorse me?

Of course I can use Microsoft Office!
😑
Do refrain.

Hi, would you like to have lunch or dinner with me?
You do?
Ok, let’s schedule a date and time.

 

It’s a half emotion
Barely enough
Understand maybe,
But what about your personal perception?

I don’t.
I conjure images and emotions
You my dear are irreplicable
As I cannot truly share your thoughts

It may never be ok
I say rely on the strength of another
Until you gain strength enough
We were not meant to be burden bearers

1 Peter 5:7
It’s all I know
Adam and Eve fucked us over
But you don’t have to bear this alone…

 

She is so rude
No manners
Lazy ‘pickney’

I simply laughed
Surely I was divergent
Honest I would say
Certainly no hard worker
Doesn’t the end justifies the means?

They didn’t know what they wanted
Incorrectly packaged I guess
Think, but do not question me
Do not lie, but say what makes ‘me’ feel good

Rubbish.
Fortunately I believed in me.
A child shall lead them
I shall never depart from my ‘apparent’ naivety

They know it all
Yet they have no hope
They solve no problems
They are grossly unhappy…

It’s sad.
Pity it is.
But I’m happy I believed in me.