Old, Odd, Broken People

I keep trying to love all the old, odd, broken people because I feel odd and broken too and I hope someone would see the parts of me that deserve to be loved too. But alas, I see it doesn’t work like that. It only took 2.5 decades to come to this conclusion. Not longContinue reading “Old, Odd, Broken People”

My Love Wasn’t Enough…

It’s never been and may never be. Perhaps this is where inanimate love comes from; if you love something that can’t expressly love you back then you can’t be unloved right? I might try that. Love a lamp; an old broken lamp because then it’s already lost it’s light so you spare yourself that heartbreak.Continue reading “My Love Wasn’t Enough…”

Can’t I be Mad Out Loud?

Why must my madness only be palatable in eloquence? Can’t I be mad out loud? Why can’t I wear my madness in my attire? Can’t I just not shower? Not sleep on time? Not eat right? Walk straight? Nor exercise? Can’t I just be unabashedly insane for a day and still be considered well? “I’mContinue reading “Can’t I be Mad Out Loud?”

I Wanna Go Home

Every year since immigrating whenever someone asked if I missed home I’d tell them “Not yet, I lived there for 21 years. I’ve seen it all or at least most of it.” When they asked if I missed my family, I’d say “not really, we keep in touch and that’s enough for me.” Well, it’sContinue reading “I Wanna Go Home”

Today is One of My Bad Days

Sometimes I think wearing it on my forehead would prompt the world to be a little kinder, a little more gentle, a little more loving…I don’t know. Today is one of my bad days; living with #bipolar disorder 1 can be a living nightmare sometimes. Over the past month I have been doing everything IContinue reading “Today is One of My Bad Days”

What if we could?

What if we could walk away from trauma? What if we could fly away from hurt? What if we could swim away from pain? What if we could run away from all the torturous familiarity? What if we could learn a new language that has no words that we’ve encoded in this trauma chain weContinue reading “What if we could?”

Feelings Suck!

I like apathetic me better. Well, right now I do. I don’t know that that statement holds true all the time. Urrghhh, I’m all worked up and upset and just icky with all these feelings clutching onto my little heart. I hope they don’t take up residency. I don’t think I have anymore room forContinue reading “Feelings Suck!”

I Don’t Hide Anymore

I hid for the last time last week I cried for the last time in the shower Well, lemme not be hasty haha We all know life has a way of circling back on us I meant to say; I won’t hide from my loved ones anymore I’ll cry and let them sit with me.Continue reading “I Don’t Hide Anymore”

You Deserve It

You know; that someone who makes a fuss over ya That person who thinks everyday with you is a special day That person who thinks you’re the sunshine on a cold winter day That person who thinks you’re the breeze on a hot day in the tropics That person who feels like the sun; likeContinue reading “You Deserve It”

Reclaiming My Leisure

Since August of this year I have gone back into business for myself full time and it has required being constantly on the go, always taking calls and replying to messages, keeping up with content on the social media pages and just being available all the time to my clients. I don’t like it. There.Continue reading “Reclaiming My Leisure”

It’s My Aunties For Me

It’s my aunties for meI revere youAlways on my pedestalThere when I needed you mostYou scattered your roses right here on earthYou bent over backwards to make sure we ateNever the dependentI admired my aunties especially you two of late.I know today is your day butI hope you guys meetUp there in gloryAnd share allContinue reading “It’s My Aunties For Me”

Dear My Inner Child

I am letting go the resentment I harbour towards my parents for having 5 children in poverty and never working hard enough nor consistently enough to take care of all our basic needs and using us as beggars to the rest of the family to support us all. I’m letting go of feeling as thoughContinue reading “Dear My Inner Child”

I Want to be with Someone Who

Makes me feel secure enough to be soft Makes me feel safe enough to put my armour down, for I already destroyed my walls I want to be with someone who reveres my divine femininity and firm masculinity I want to be with someone who sees God in me I want to be with someoneContinue reading “I Want to be with Someone Who”

Home is Where the He-Art Is

They say; home is where the heart is My he-Art is always with me Within me Sometimes buried deep Sometimes right there on the surface of my chest Slightly left, towards the centre Right there; that’s my heart This is my he-art Do you feel it? Maybe, you can even see it. Strapped in rightContinue reading “Home is Where the He-Art Is”

It’s Been About A Month & A Half

It usually does this…hit me all at once…on a random day when something seemingly random happens. It triggers the feels and then suddenly I feel. I haven’t felt in months and today it feels all new and I don’t hate being bipolar or let me correct myself; having bipolar disorder. It’s been about a monthContinue reading “It’s Been About A Month & A Half”