Depression Wants You to Disappear…

But you shouldn’t. Today, in my 27th year I have come to appreciate the idea of participation trophies. I used to think it was foolish and unwise to set children up with this idea that they will be rewarded even if they came in last. I thought only the winners should get trophies and thatContinue reading “Depression Wants You to Disappear…”

I Wanna Go Home

Every year since immigrating whenever someone asked if I missed home I’d tell them “Not yet, I lived there for 21 years. I’ve seen it all or at least most of it.” When they asked if I missed my family, I’d say “not really, we keep in touch and that’s enough for me.” Well, it’sContinue reading “I Wanna Go Home”

Travel Goals

Next year my travel goals includegoing to indigenous majority areas to immerse myself into their culture, and belief systems. As someone living with a mental illness that comes with positive symptoms (things not usually experienced by others; hallucinations, a undeniably strong connection to things that don’t talk – to others; etc) I have been encouragedContinue reading “Travel Goals”

I Don’t Hide Anymore

I hid for the last time last week I cried for the last time in the shower Well, lemme not be hasty haha We all know life has a way of circling back on us I meant to say; I won’t hide from my loved ones anymore I’ll cry and let them sit with me.Continue reading “I Don’t Hide Anymore”

You Deserve It

You know; that someone who makes a fuss over ya That person who thinks everyday with you is a special day That person who thinks you’re the sunshine on a cold winter day That person who thinks you’re the breeze on a hot day in the tropics That person who feels like the sun; likeContinue reading “You Deserve It”

Reclaiming My Leisure

Since August of this year I have gone back into business for myself full time and it has required being constantly on the go, always taking calls and replying to messages, keeping up with content on the social media pages and just being available all the time to my clients. I don’t like it. There.Continue reading “Reclaiming My Leisure”

Dear My Inner Child

I am letting go the resentment I harbour towards my parents for having 5 children in poverty and never working hard enough nor consistently enough to take care of all our basic needs and using us as beggars to the rest of the family to support us all. I’m letting go of feeling as thoughContinue reading “Dear My Inner Child”

I Want to be with Someone Who

Makes me feel secure enough to be soft Makes me feel safe enough to put my armour down, for I already destroyed my walls I want to be with someone who reveres my divine femininity and firm masculinity I want to be with someone who sees God in me I want to be with someoneContinue reading “I Want to be with Someone Who”

Home is Where the He-Art Is

They say; home is where the heart is My he-Art is always with me Within me Sometimes buried deep Sometimes right there on the surface of my chest Slightly left, towards the centre Right there; that’s my heart This is my he-art Do you feel it? Maybe, you can even see it. Strapped in rightContinue reading “Home is Where the He-Art Is”

I Still Love My Husband

As I do all my exes And as I do all the amazing people in my life. I still love my husband as a human I got to close to and want the absolute best for, I still love my husband as a person I empathize with and can show compassion towards, I still loveContinue reading “I Still Love My Husband”

Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?

I often share about how much I love myself, truthfully I’m not lacking in the self love nor loathing department lol. Lady M and Mr. D has those locked. Together we’ve found the perfect balance of “we’re good over here”. What I often contend with emotionally though is feeling or being too much for others.Continue reading “Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?”

To Die A Natural Death

That’s my current goal. To live long enough to die a natural death. It’s funny how growing up no one mentioned that one of the hardest parts of living is choosing to stay alive everyday. Choosing to stay here and breathe another breath, fight another fight. It‘s sad that suicidality is such a taboo subjectContinue reading “To Die A Natural Death”

You Know You Best

No matter how many years they have on you; no one knows what’s best for you the way you do. Have the courage to live the vision you have for your life and go after your dreams fiercely and unapologetically. When they ask you, “Who do you think you are?” Remind them of your mfContinue reading “You Know You Best”

The Hole

I hate it hereHere is the holeHuck’s holeDo you know Huck?Olivia Pope?The white hat?….I know, distractingAnyho, I’m not doing well but I’m still trying.I like to focus on the latter #blessed #grateful

Rapid Cycling – What it’s really like

Rapid Cycling is the worst part of this disorder. It’s exhausting; mentally and physically. I still haven’t quite figured out what triggers these episodes and I’m journaling to remain mindful so I can crack the code lol During rapid cycling I experience numerous mood swings from mania to depression. I get weepy, happy, angry, frustrated,Continue reading “Rapid Cycling – What it’s really like”

What I Want For My Birthday

So my birthday is coming up on the winter solstice and as is typical for me; I am introspecting a lot these days. I am very pensive about my big life goals: 1. Earn my PhD by age 30 2. Own multiple successful businesses 3. Retire on my ranch by age 40 4. Be anContinue reading “What I Want For My Birthday”

Model

I’m mid twenties and a model. My personal brand epitomizes the strength of a young woman with an “invisible” disability who shares her journey to self actualization while not just coping but thriving. I believe my transparency has inspired and continues to inspire others to commit to their goals regardless of their personal afflictions orContinue reading “Model”

Model

I’m mid twenties and a model. My personal brand epitomizes the strength of a young woman with an “invisible” disability who shares her journey to self actualization while not just coping but thriving. I believe my transparency has inspired and continues to inspire others to commit to their goals regardless of their personal afflictions orContinue reading “Model”

Ghost Everyone & Focus

Walking in your purpose doesn’t mean the road is well paved. Actually it’s filled with potholes, and roadblocks but my oh my is it enthralling, enriching and oh so exciting.This chapter of my story reminds me of my days in high school when I was Student’s Council President, on the School Challenge Quiz Team andContinue reading “Ghost Everyone & Focus”