I keep trying to love all the old, odd, broken people because I feel odd and broken too and I hope someone would see the parts of me that deserve to be loved too. But alas, I see it doesn’t work like that. It only took 2.5 decades to come to this conclusion. Not longContinue reading “Old, Odd, Broken People”
Tag Archives: introspection
Stasis
suspended…I have read that in waterbodies with high salinity it’s impossible to sink, one stays floating. I suppose that’s how I am feeling lately; stuck but. not in a trapped kinda why, but in I can’t move kinda way; not paralysis either but that I am somewhere I am to be but not sure whatContinue reading “Stasis”
Depression Wants You to Disappear…
But you shouldn’t. Today, in my 27th year I have come to appreciate the idea of participation trophies. I used to think it was foolish and unwise to set children up with this idea that they will be rewarded even if they came in last. I thought only the winners should get trophies and thatContinue reading “Depression Wants You to Disappear…”
…would you tell me?
Would you? Tell me that is. If you found someone special; would you tell me? If you met someone who lights up your world; would you tell me? If you’re expecting a child would you share that with me? If you’re getting married, am I one of the persons you’d share that with? If you’reContinue reading “…would you tell me?”
What if we could?
What if we could walk away from trauma? What if we could fly away from hurt? What if we could swim away from pain? What if we could run away from all the torturous familiarity? What if we could learn a new language that has no words that we’ve encoded in this trauma chain weContinue reading “What if we could?”
Travel Goals
Next year my travel goals includegoing to indigenous majority areas to immerse myself into their culture, and belief systems. As someone living with a mental illness that comes with positive symptoms (things not usually experienced by others; hallucinations, a undeniably strong connection to things that don’t talk – to others; etc) I have been encouragedContinue reading “Travel Goals”
Feelings Suck!
I like apathetic me better. Well, right now I do. I don’t know that that statement holds true all the time. Urrghhh, I’m all worked up and upset and just icky with all these feelings clutching onto my little heart. I hope they don’t take up residency. I don’t think I have anymore room forContinue reading “Feelings Suck!”
How I explain bipolarity to a neuro-typical
This was inspired by a post I just read from another blogger with bipolar disorder. When someone who doesn’t experience mental illness or bipolar disorder specifically asks me what is it like; this is what I say; Mania I tell them that for 6 months I’m highly productive, driven, outgoing and on my game. IContinue reading “How I explain bipolarity to a neuro-typical”
I Don’t Hide Anymore
I hid for the last time last week I cried for the last time in the shower Well, lemme not be hasty haha We all know life has a way of circling back on us I meant to say; I won’t hide from my loved ones anymore I’ll cry and let them sit with me.Continue reading “I Don’t Hide Anymore”
You Deserve It
You know; that someone who makes a fuss over ya That person who thinks everyday with you is a special day That person who thinks you’re the sunshine on a cold winter day That person who thinks you’re the breeze on a hot day in the tropics That person who feels like the sun; likeContinue reading “You Deserve It”
Reclaiming My Leisure
Since August of this year I have gone back into business for myself full time and it has required being constantly on the go, always taking calls and replying to messages, keeping up with content on the social media pages and just being available all the time to my clients. I don’t like it. There.Continue reading “Reclaiming My Leisure”
B.B.A – Body Before Antipsychotics
Can we agree to stop telling people they have gained weight? Do we really think others don’t look in the mirror and know that they have been getting fatter? Do we think that they believe their clothes are shrinking and not that they are expanding? Sighs, listen; I’m so so grateful to this body forContinue reading “B.B.A – Body Before Antipsychotics”
Dear My Inner Child
I am letting go the resentment I harbour towards my parents for having 5 children in poverty and never working hard enough nor consistently enough to take care of all our basic needs and using us as beggars to the rest of the family to support us all. I’m letting go of feeling as thoughContinue reading “Dear My Inner Child”
I Want to be with Someone Who
Makes me feel secure enough to be soft Makes me feel safe enough to put my armour down, for I already destroyed my walls I want to be with someone who reveres my divine femininity and firm masculinity I want to be with someone who sees God in me I want to be with someoneContinue reading “I Want to be with Someone Who”
Dear Nature
I love how wild and untamed you are How pristinely you take up space everywhere I love how bipolar you are; hot one minute, cold the next and raging fuxking mad another I love how you just don’t give shit about existing the way you do. I love how you carve paths for waterways whereContinue reading “Dear Nature”
This is My God
I rose with daylight An especially gentle and peaceful awakening There were no bizarre sounds Nothing loud and irreverent The morning drizzle pettered on Every so slowly, it was certainly in no rush Isn’t that poignant Somehow a remarkable lesson from nature I think it is. I’ve never seen nature rush, never in a hurryContinue reading “This is My God”
I Still Love My Husband
As I do all my exes And as I do all the amazing people in my life. I still love my husband as a human I got to close to and want the absolute best for, I still love my husband as a person I empathize with and can show compassion towards, I still loveContinue reading “I Still Love My Husband”
Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?
I often share about how much I love myself, truthfully I’m not lacking in the self love nor loathing department lol. Lady M and Mr. D has those locked. Together we’ve found the perfect balance of “we’re good over here”. What I often contend with emotionally though is feeling or being too much for others.Continue reading “Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?”
Human Hibernation
I used to think that depression meant I didn’t get anything done, anything worthwhile that is. But that’s not true, for one, I stay alive (biggest accomplishment 😌) and according to my track record – aka my journal I stay the course of whatever it is I am working on I just slow down considerably,Continue reading “Human Hibernation”
Dweet Fraid 