Dear My Inner Child

I am letting go the resentment I harbour towards my parents for having 5 children in poverty and never working hard enough nor consistently enough to take care of all our basic needs and using us as beggars to the rest of the family to support us all. I’m letting go of feeling as thoughContinue reading “Dear My Inner Child”

I Want to be with Someone Who

Makes me feel secure enough to be soft Makes me feel safe enough to put my armour down, for I already destroyed my walls I want to be with someone who reveres my divine femininity and firm masculinity I want to be with someone who sees God in me I want to be with someoneContinue reading “I Want to be with Someone Who”

Dear Nature

I love how wild and untamed you are How pristinely you take up space everywhere I love how bipolar you are; hot one minute, cold the next and raging fuxking mad another I love how you just don’t give shit about existing the way you do. I love how you carve paths for waterways whereContinue reading “Dear Nature”

This is My God

I rose with daylight An especially gentle and peaceful awakening There were no bizarre sounds Nothing loud and irreverent The morning drizzle pettered on Every so slowly, it was certainly in no rush Isn’t that poignant Somehow a remarkable lesson from nature I think it is. I’ve never seen nature rush, never in a hurryContinue reading “This is My God”

I Still Love My Husband

As I do all my exes And as I do all the amazing people in my life. I still love my husband as a human I got to close to and want the absolute best for, I still love my husband as a person I empathize with and can show compassion towards, I still loveContinue reading “I Still Love My Husband”

Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?

I often share about how much I love myself, truthfully I’m not lacking in the self love nor loathing department lol. Lady M and Mr. D has those locked. Together we’ve found the perfect balance of “we’re good over here”. What I often contend with emotionally though is feeling or being too much for others.Continue reading “Is It Only He Who Can Love Me?”

Human Hibernation

I used to think that depression meant I didn’t get anything done, anything worthwhile that is. But that’s not true, for one, I stay alive (biggest accomplishment 😌) and according to my track record – aka my journal I stay the course of whatever it is I am working on I just slow down considerably,Continue reading “Human Hibernation”

You Know You Best

No matter how many years they have on you; no one knows what’s best for you the way you do. Have the courage to live the vision you have for your life and go after your dreams fiercely and unapologetically. When they ask you, “Who do you think you are?” Remind them of your mfContinue reading “You Know You Best”

The Hole

I hate it hereHere is the holeHuck’s holeDo you know Huck?Olivia Pope?The white hat?….I know, distractingAnyho, I’m not doing well but I’m still trying.I like to focus on the latter #blessed #grateful

Rapid Cycling – What it’s really like

Rapid Cycling is the worst part of this disorder. It’s exhausting; mentally and physically. I still haven’t quite figured out what triggers these episodes and I’m journaling to remain mindful so I can crack the code lol During rapid cycling I experience numerous mood swings from mania to depression. I get weepy, happy, angry, frustrated,Continue reading “Rapid Cycling – What it’s really like”

What I Want For My Birthday

So my birthday is coming up on the winter solstice and as is typical for me; I am introspecting a lot these days. I am very pensive about my big life goals: 1. Earn my PhD by age 30 2. Own multiple successful businesses 3. Retire on my ranch by age 40 4. Be anContinue reading “What I Want For My Birthday”

What Do You Love Most About Yourself?

I spoke about this in my last YouTube video yesterday and I urged my viewers to take some time to think about and answer this question and feel free to share it with me. A few persons responded in the comments but they most profound and well thought out response I received privately was fromContinue reading “What Do You Love Most About Yourself?”

Cold eh?

I’m cold eh? Perhaps it’s because you’re not ready for my intensity. I’m distant… Perhaps it’s depth and not width I don’t want to be cuddled…. Perhaps I don’t trust you to hold me together if I fall apart in your arms I don’t talk much….Perhaps it’s because I don’t want to talk about theContinue reading “Cold eh?”