Old, Odd, Broken People

I keep trying to love all the old, odd, broken people because I feel odd and broken too and I hope someone would see the parts of me that deserve to be loved too. But alas, I see it doesn’t work like that. It only took 2.5 decades to come to this conclusion. Not longContinue reading “Old, Odd, Broken People”

Can’t I be Mad Out Loud?

Why must my madness only be palatable in eloquence? Can’t I be mad out loud? Why can’t I wear my madness in my attire? Can’t I just not shower? Not sleep on time? Not eat right? Walk straight? Nor exercise? Can’t I just be unabashedly insane for a day and still be considered well? “I’mContinue reading “Can’t I be Mad Out Loud?”

What if the Sun Decided She Wanted to Die

What if the sun decided she wanted to die That she was tired of showing up and how she desperately needed to cry. What if the sun was burn out Carrying a flame that seemed as though it would never run out. What if she forgoes showing up And decided to leave; seeming rather abrupt.Continue reading “What if the Sun Decided She Wanted to Die”

I Wanna Go Home

Every year since immigrating whenever someone asked if I missed home I’d tell them “Not yet, I lived there for 21 years. I’ve seen it all or at least most of it.” When they asked if I missed my family, I’d say “not really, we keep in touch and that’s enough for me.” Well, it’sContinue reading “I Wanna Go Home”

What if we could?

What if we could walk away from trauma? What if we could fly away from hurt? What if we could swim away from pain? What if we could run away from all the torturous familiarity? What if we could learn a new language that has no words that we’ve encoded in this trauma chain weContinue reading “What if we could?”

Feelings Suck!

I like apathetic me better. Well, right now I do. I don’t know that that statement holds true all the time. Urrghhh, I’m all worked up and upset and just icky with all these feelings clutching onto my little heart. I hope they don’t take up residency. I don’t think I have anymore room forContinue reading “Feelings Suck!”

How I explain bipolarity to a neuro-typical

This was inspired by a post I just read from another blogger with bipolar disorder. When someone who doesn’t experience mental illness or bipolar disorder specifically asks me what is it like; this is what I say; Mania I tell them that for 6 months I’m highly productive, driven, outgoing and on my game. IContinue reading “How I explain bipolarity to a neuro-typical”

I Don’t Hide Anymore

I hid for the last time last week I cried for the last time in the shower Well, lemme not be hasty haha We all know life has a way of circling back on us I meant to say; I won’t hide from my loved ones anymore I’ll cry and let them sit with me.Continue reading “I Don’t Hide Anymore”

You Deserve It

You know; that someone who makes a fuss over ya That person who thinks everyday with you is a special day That person who thinks you’re the sunshine on a cold winter day That person who thinks you’re the breeze on a hot day in the tropics That person who feels like the sun; likeContinue reading “You Deserve It”

Reclaiming My Leisure

Since August of this year I have gone back into business for myself full time and it has required being constantly on the go, always taking calls and replying to messages, keeping up with content on the social media pages and just being available all the time to my clients. I don’t like it. There.Continue reading “Reclaiming My Leisure”

It’s My Aunties For Me

It’s my aunties for meI revere youAlways on my pedestalThere when I needed you mostYou scattered your roses right here on earthYou bent over backwards to make sure we ateNever the dependentI admired my aunties especially you two of late.I know today is your day butI hope you guys meetUp there in gloryAnd share allContinue reading “It’s My Aunties For Me”

Dear My Inner Child

I am letting go the resentment I harbour towards my parents for having 5 children in poverty and never working hard enough nor consistently enough to take care of all our basic needs and using us as beggars to the rest of the family to support us all. I’m letting go of feeling as thoughContinue reading “Dear My Inner Child”

I Want to be with Someone Who

Makes me feel secure enough to be soft Makes me feel safe enough to put my armour down, for I already destroyed my walls I want to be with someone who reveres my divine femininity and firm masculinity I want to be with someone who sees God in me I want to be with someoneContinue reading “I Want to be with Someone Who”

Dear Nature

I love how wild and untamed you are How pristinely you take up space everywhere I love how bipolar you are; hot one minute, cold the next and raging fuxking mad another I love how you just don’t give shit about existing the way you do. I love how you carve paths for waterways whereContinue reading “Dear Nature”

Home is Where the He-Art Is

They say; home is where the heart is My he-Art is always with me Within me Sometimes buried deep Sometimes right there on the surface of my chest Slightly left, towards the centre Right there; that’s my heart This is my he-art Do you feel it? Maybe, you can even see it. Strapped in rightContinue reading “Home is Where the He-Art Is”

This is My God

I rose with daylight An especially gentle and peaceful awakening There were no bizarre sounds Nothing loud and irreverent The morning drizzle pettered on Every so slowly, it was certainly in no rush Isn’t that poignant Somehow a remarkable lesson from nature I think it is. I’ve never seen nature rush, never in a hurryContinue reading “This is My God”

The Stability of a Pendulum

Oh how quickly one oscillates from isn’t it beautiful to this….. *Deep breath* Don’t read this if your day is cheery, as I do not wish to cast a gloom over it. I’m writing to stop my hands from hurting me. I wish it wasnt like this. But alas, if wishes were horses beggars wouldContinue reading “The Stability of a Pendulum”